New Ted Nugent Cologne Tested On ‘Every Goddamn Animal We Could Find’
ALPENA, MI—Ted Nugent held a press conference Monday to unveil his new signature fragrance "Heartland," which the veteran rocker touted as the most extensively tested cologne in history. "We tested that sumbitch on ferrets, weasels, deer, elk, squirrels, bison, trout, crickets, gibbons, iguanas, donkeys, capybaras, koalas, hyenas, penguins, woodpeckers—every goddamn animal we could find," Nugent said. "And, just to be extra-certain it was safe for consumer use, we injected it into a kitten's bloodstream, sprayed it on otters with open wounds that we inflicted, and forced cows to drink it through their nose. We also squirted it in a duck's eyes. Then we ran out of cologne and just started punching the duck." The cologne, now available in stores, features an ivory bottle stopper and comes in a genuine tiger-skin pouch.
This short mock news report from the Onion is effective in creating comedy by creating a ridiculous event and exaggerating the conservative views of Ted Nugent. The author uses stereotypical conservative extremist language "that sumbitch" to portray Nugent as base. Ridiculous details reinforce this, including the number of animals tested and accounts of brutal treatment of animals "we injected it into a kitten's bloodstream" in Nugent's quotes, which he finds nothing wrong with. The comedy of this report comes from the disconnect between Nugent's cologne testing and what the public usually wants.
No animals were hurt in the
I feel that your response was very limited in analysis. You have only hit 2 out of the 3 required literary techniques to be addressed. The pieces of evidence that you have used are very few. You may want to add more and definitely consider adding scholarly analysis that explains why the pieces of evidence you used were relevant to supporting your thesis. Also, it would help you prepare better for writing AP style essays if you were to write them in more than one paragraph. You need a strong introduction consisting of a thesis followed by body paragraphs consisting of a substantial amount of analysis to consistently refer back to your thesis. Overall, I feel that you may have been headed in the right direction but you just need to refine your position and start anew.
ReplyDeleteWhile you post is much shorter than most, I don't think this is a bad thing. Since the requirements for this post have always been rather loose, I think your post is perfectly acceptable. Instead of dedicating a whole paragraph to each technique, you freely use from all of the techniques in order to convince readers of your interpretation of the text. As the focus of the AP Closed Prompt lies on this point instead of the sentiment of "how many techniques can I pull out of this piece" I think your analysis is spot on.
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